From teacher to friend

I used to call her Mrs. Brown.  Now I call her Dolores.

She used to be my English teacher.  Now she is my friend.

It's an interesting transition, from teacher to friend.  It started years ago as a teacher-student relationship.  I had no choice but to be in her class (or else remain in Freshman English for four years of high school).  She was the only teacher in our small, rural high school who taught English college prep courses.  I knew the road that lay ahead of me would be full of challenges.  Mrs. Brown was no push-over and her classes were famous for elevating students to higher levels with semester-long projects to complete.  But if I was to eventually graduate from a university, I knew I needed to be under her tutelage.

And so our relationship began.  Over the course of three years, Mrs. Brown taught me most everything I know about language arts.  From grammar to writing style, MLA citations to research, lecturing to creative writing, and a plethora of other topics.  She used her love of Egyptian history and culture as a context for her teaching; she assigned books to read that provoked her students' thoughts in new directions; and she led discussions so that we might think deeply about controversial topics and issues.  She didn't sway us to think one way or another, but rather opened the doors that encouraged us to think differently and consider different points of view.

Most of all, Mrs. Brown pushed us toward a higher education.  Her encouragement, her confidence in us, and her excitement for our success is what drove us onward to college.  I distinctly remember her reaction to a fellow student's decision to attend a local university.  In his senior year, he had been contemplating which university to attend.  After a visit to Reed College over a weekend, he returned to class proudly donning a Reed sweatshirt, indicating his decision had been made.  Mrs. Brown was elated at his decision and boisterously praised him--not because it was a college she preferred, but because she shared his excitement and was truly happy for his future.

Those early years of our relationship formed a bond of mutual respect and admiration that isn't always the  result between a teacher and a student.  And as I sat in her living room the other day (16+ years after our first times together) and visited with her about life and health, politics and careers, family and old friends, I realized the reason I can now call her a friend is because of her genuine interest in me and my life, even after all these years have passed.  It isn't uncommon for a student to love and admire her teacher, but for a teacher to reciprocate those feelings, even years later, is a sign of their true gift and ability to teach with love and respect.

As I ponder the significance of it, I am profoundly grateful for the opportunities I have had to form these intimate relationships with a select few of my early role models in life.  I know they were placed in my life for significant reasons--all to guide me down a path of success and happiness.  I am grateful to call these mentors of the past, my friends today.

And so, I am honored to call a woman who used to be my English teacher, Dolores, my friend.