Give and take

It's a tradition for us to find The Perfect Tree as the centerpiece of our holiday decor.  This year, for several reasons, I was not feeling the fun in our tradition.  I was busy and distracted with my concert preparations, the rain was coming down in buckets for days, and Jason was out of town on the weekend after Thanksgiving when we typically get our tree.  I've gone to get a tree by myself before, but it was a lot of huffing and puffing and hollering at kids to help.  Normally that doesn't bother me much, but this year I was completely willing to forego the experience and find a pre-cut tree on a lot to take home.  

I weighed my options:

1) Go without a muscly man to a muddy field of wet trees; 

2) Spend a half an hour tromping in the mud to find the perfect tree;

3) Cut it down by myself; 

4) Haul it to the truck about 50 yards away with my five kids "helping;" 

5) Haul it up my driveway and onto the porch; 

6) Leave it there for a few days to hopefully dry.  

OR

1) Go without a muscly man to a tree lot exactly 1/2 mile from my house;

2) Pick out a tree in 2 minutes;

3) Save myself from all huffing and puffing and hollering to cut the tree down;

3) Throw it into the back of the truck 10 feet away;

4) Repeat # 5 and 6 above;

5) Feel guilty that I broke the tradition of cutting down a fresh tree.

I was totally okay with my second set of options minus #5, which was causing a bit of angst in my mind. 

Enter:  my mom.  We usually take Mom with us and get her a tree at the same time we get ours.  So when she called to ask what our plans were for getting trees this year, I felt guilty admitting to her my plan to buy a lot tree.  Then, my dear, sweet, loving mother came to my rescue.  With a few words of encouragement and planning, we were out the door and heading to a tree farm to pick out our trees.  What I thought would be an ordeal, a pain, a hassle, an inconvenience, turned out to be a lovely day of tradition and memories.  She said all the right things, helped me gather my hope and courage, and left me feeling content and fulfilled at what we accomplished together.  

It wasn't until later that day I realized what an angel she had been for me.  Without even knowing it, she had lifted my spirits and helped me see past my negativity and lack of motivation.  I recognized that many times I fill that role for her--as she ages and has more needs arise wherein she needs assistance, I am the one she leans on for guidance, encouragement, and strength.  But this day, it was she who gave me what I was lacking.  She lifted me up.  It's a beautiful thing to have a relationship of healthy give and take.  And for that, I am grateful.